Monday, December 30, 2013

New Life Resolution

At the end of every year, most people find themselves replaying scenes from the previous 12 months in their minds. Some
images make us cringe while others inspire us to keep pushing in the right direction. For some of us who cringe over the mistakes, mishaps, and failures of the past, we often find ourselves jotting down a list of temporal "resolutions" that we will attempt to magically fix all by ourselves at the stroke of midnight on January 1st, only to find ourselves back at our bad habits by January 2nd. I don't know your story, but that is definitely mine. 

Through my writing and so many other things that have occurred recently, I have gained a lot of insight and decided to abandon this mystical New Year's Resolution stuff. I came to the conclusion the other day that something has got to give. I need permanent change, not a brief pause in my regularly scheduled program. I need a lifestyle change. I also realize that I can't expect my issues to dissipate on their own, as I remain the same person I was in 2013. I have to do something new in order to see new results. 2013 has been pretty good to me. I say that because God has used a lot of good and bad things to show me His power, His love and His direction in my life. As I began to reflect on what He has done for me, I was encouraged to jot down my own list of things that I must do if I wish to have the abundant life The Lord has promised (John 10:10). A lot of times, we read that scripture and think of God as a genie who just gives us everything we want without us lifting a finger, but we are so wrong (that's a different blog for another time). Becoming better takes some work on our end...

 As you read my list, I want to encourage you to ponder the things you want to do differently going forward. Feel free to share them with me as we attempt to become better versions of ourselves together. I also have a favor to ask of you. After reading this, I ask that you would hold me accountable. The truth is that I can't do this on my own. Trust me, I know. I need someone to remind me of my goal every step of the way because I'm human and life happens. I promise to hold you accountable as well...

              My New Life Resolution 

1. No more negative thoughts or speech: negativity only serves to either hold me back or make me feel worse about things I cannot change.

2. Uplift and empower the women around me: This year I discovered that too many females (young and old) suffer from low self-esteem. A lot of the poor decisions we make stem from some deep-rooted hurt that has never been fully addressed. I can attest personally to that. I don't want to be a part of the problem so I vow to be more of an encourager instead of tearing others down to boost my own self-worth.

3. Stop lying: Believe and speak the truth at all times, whether it's comfortable or not. Lies have caused a great deal of pain in my life and I no longer want any part of it. 

4. No more fear: I am fully committed to believing in the person God called me to be. Instead of living in fear, I intend to bask in the love, power and self-control that God has given me. (2Timothy 1:7)

5. No more people-pleasing: Trying to please everyone is not only impossible; it's exhausting! From now on, I will do things based on what is right, not what is popular.

6. Forgive and move on: I've held onto a lot of pain caused by other people, but I'm only hurting myself when I don't forgive. While it is hard to forgive and forget, it is possible to forgive every time I remember. 

7. Spend quality time with the Lord everyday: I have learned the hard way that going through my day without seeking God is like driving a car while blind folded. I never know what to expect and there's danger at every turn. 

8. Speak kindly to myself: This is not to be confused with being prideful. I have spent TOO much time tearing myself down, or talking about myself before somebody else can. The power of life and death lie in the tongue and I am tired of killing my own self-esteem.

9. Put things into proper perspective. Everything isn't a big deal.

10. Use the past as a map toward a better future: If we insist on looking back, then we should at least use it to make us better...

Happy 2014 and beyond! May God bless and encourage you as you strive to become the person He created you to be!

~ Shawn


Monday, December 23, 2013

Not Guilty (Pt 1)

"Through Christ, God has given us the privilege and authority as apostles to tell Gentiles everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey Him, bringing glory to His name." Romans 1:5 (NLT)

Every year at this time, I am reminded of one of the greatest gifts God has given me since I first accepted Him into my life. Almost six years ago around Christmas time, I found myself in a spiritual rut. I was a recent college grad who was struggling through a tough course in the school of adulthood. I was officially in the "real world" and I hated everything about it. I had dreams and goals for myself, but I was so insecure and had very little faith in the direction my life was headed. To help me cope, I had begun to engage in shoplifting in order to feed my insatiable desire for "things" and control. For a while, I achieved both and if all else failed, I at least thought I had a promising future in that since I never got caught.

But one day I did get caught.

It was the most humiliating day of my life. There I was in the middle of a store being asked to empty my pockets in front of everyone, including my sisters who I knew looked up to me. I was escorted out of the store and led handcuffed through the mall to a security holding cell. The cell in which I was placed was barren and the only thing in my view was my own reflection in the glass door. My eyes caught the gaze of a person I didn't recognize staring back at me through that glass. Who is this person? How in the heck did I get so low? My thoughts ran rampant until an officer came in and blew my mind with one simple comment.  "You work for NBC. There was no reason for you to do this."

At first, I had no clue what he was talking about or how he knew where I worked. I thought that perhaps they ran a search on me and found the information, but then I noticed something that explained everything. I had totally forgotten about the jacket I was wearing, which bore the company's famous peacock logo on the sleeve. As I was doing my deed in the mall,  I had forgotten that I was also acting as a representative of a well-respected media giant at the same time. Somehow, I was tarnishing the reputation of what it meant to be a part of that organization. You know how stereotypes go. People with good jobs don't steal. Shoplifters are usually poor and uneducated. Well so much for that stereotype...

I had a completely different message for this blog post before I started writing it, but God has literally interrupted that train of thought to share something with me that I need to share with anyone who reads this. Many times as Christians, we go through life doing whatever pleases us, forgetting the responsibility that we carry. The "logo on our sleeve," if you will. Unbelievers look at our behavior and question our faith because sometimes our behavior is "worse" than theirs. I have heard that too many times to ignore. We tarnish the reputation of the One we represent whenever we act on our own will and desires. It's time to take this walk seriously and be the ambassadors God has called us to be, according to the Word of God. As one of my good friends always says, "Preach the Gospel and when necessary, open your mouth." Let's allow our lives to be the example of Christ's love. We have to be mindful of our actions. The world is watching.

Not Guilty (Pt. 2)

"For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am..." I Corinthians15:9-10 (NKJV)

Fast forward from the  prison cell to the months after my arrest...It was time for my court hearing that would determine my fate and ultimately shape the direction of my future. The four grueling weeks leading to that day will always be etched in my mind. Probably God's way of keeping me humble. Everyday, I got up at 5AM and prayed for God's forgiveness as soon as I opened my eyes. I asked for a second chance as I got dressed for work. I prayed again as I boarded the bus to work, and as I walked to the building. I fasted. And I prayed some more. Every. Day. I tried to smile to hide the guilt, fear and anxiety that was eating me alive, but I failed miserably. Although I prayed to an all-powerful God, I doubted that He would forgive me this time. I knowingly made the wrong choices. I spat in His face every time I chose to disobey Him. I didn't even bother to pray about it until after I got into trouble. I figured I was probably wasting my time praying the way that I did. But I literally had nowhere else to go. I had to trust Him. Eventually, the day finally came.

In court, I had to sit for almost two hours and watched more than a dozen other offenders receive harsh punishments for their crimes. The experience was excruciating. By the time the judge called my name, I was bracing myself for the worst. My dreams of a great career in the government were over. My reputation and ability to lead others was finished. Finally, the judge issued his ruling...What?!? Not guilty?? I'm free?? Am I hearing correctly? This time, I wanted to shout. Cry. Run. Anything that would help me express the elation I was feeling...

In spite of everything, God forgave me. Wiped my slate clean. Gave me a fresh start with a new sense of gratitude that I never had before. I am embarrassed to admit that he also confirmed His existence. There were times that I questioned if He was even real. Yet, He did all of this and more for me because He loves me. In fact, He loves us. More than 2,000 years ago, God knew that we couldn't overcome the guilt of our sins on our own, so He sent His only Son, who NEVER did anything wrong, as a sacrifice to wipe each of our slates clean for good. Because of that sacrifice, I was able to come to my Father and be forgiven. The thing that blows my mind the most is that there were many people in that courtroom who did the same thing I had done. But I was literally the only one to walk away with a clean slate. To God be the glory...

God examined my heart and saw my desire to turn away from the sin that got me in that situation in the first place. If it had not been for God's grace at that moment, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog trying to encourage readers to accept the freedom that God has promised each of us through Jesus Christ. I would literally have nothing to say right now. Today, I implore you not to wait until trouble comes to go looking for God. He wants you to come today. No matter where you are in life, no matter what you did 5 minutes ago...Another chance at life is available. Please accept Christ into your life and let his Spirit help you navigate through this difficult journey. Just like me, your story doesn't have to end with what you did wrong. It's time to accept the invitation and walk in the abundant life that God has richly promised all of those who love Him.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Exhumation


“Then he who had received the one talent came and said…I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground.” Matthew 25:24-25 NKJV

ex’ hu·ma’tion  n. 1. To remove from a grave; disinter.
        2. To bring to light, especially after a period of obscurity.


I tried to come up with a clever analogy that would help me describe the way I have been feeling lately, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. Just as I was about to give up, I was reminded of the parable Jesus told His disciples about a wealthy man who distributed his wealth among three of his servants and left them to do whatever they pleased with what was given. Each servant was given a different number of “talents.” When the man returned to see how the servants had used their talents, only two out of the three had done anything at all. The third servant, who was only given one talent, claimed to have been too “afraid and went and hid [the] talent in the ground.” When the man heard this, he rebuked his servant and cast him away.

Although this parable has been preached from so many different angles before, it spoke to me in a way so unique that I pray it won’t earn me a personal rebuke from my pastor, lol. But to put it plainly, this pretty much sums up how I have been feeling for the last few years: I am sick of being afraid.  I am tired of letting my fear or feelings of inadequacy keep me from experiencing the fullness of life…from enabling me to express myself…from trying new things…from being 100% ME.

I don’t know about you, but self-doubt has always equaled self-sabotage in my life. Whenever the opportunity arises for me to step out of my comfort zone, I immediately shrink back from the opportunity faster than a turtle seeks shelter within its hardened shell. This may sound dramatic, but it’s so true. And it never fails that every time I “punk out,” I end up kicking myself later because deep down inside I know I can do it. Whatever it is…not because of who I am in my own strength, but because of who I am in Christ. I don’t know if any of you can relate to this, but I don’t want to wallow in self-doubt anymore. I am studying a book right now that is literally changing my life (So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore), and it taught me something very important about myself: [When I] lack security, I also lack faith. I don’t just doubt myself, I also doubt God about myself.

I guess you’re wondering by now what any of this has to do with the parable I mentioned earlier. Well, it’s simple: God has given me access to all of His “wealth” through Christ. His wealth encompasses a multitude of things: my gifts, talents and abilities; His love, grace and forgiveness; His favor which allows me to overcome adversity; His peace, power…He even gives me a little faith. The list goes on…but what do I usually do with all of this wealth? In so many ways, I am just like that fearful servant who buries these gifts in the dirt so that no one can see them or make me use them. Thoughts like, “I am not as talented as that person” or “What if people don’t like what I have to say?” or “What if I fail?” race through my mind and stop me dead in my tracks.

Overtime, I’ve learned that my own spiritual and personal growth are not the only casualties in this war within my mind. It also prevents God from using me to bless other people. We would be surprised by how God can use our faith to bless someone else. You don’t know how your demonstration of faith can encourage a younger generation to trust God and to believe in themselves. And it’s not about being the greatest at something or always succeeding. Failure can inspire faith too. People need to see that our “greatness” comes from our relationship with Christ. Paul said he could “do ALL things through Christ who strengthens [me]” (Philippians 4:13). He could have stopped at he can do all things, but he knew that his abilities did not come from himself and he fearlessly spent the latter part of his life showing others how to tap into that same power. God says in His word that He has “not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). This means fear can only come from one other source. Satan uses our fears to keep us from experiencing God’s infinite power. He knows how dangerous we can be if we fully rely on God for our strength and self-worth. Now that we know at least one of our enemy’s primary tactics, let’s stop giving him that foothold in our lives. I am learning each day that everything God has given me are beautiful tools to be used for His purpose and there is no reason to walk in fear of using them. As you and I continue on this spiritual journey together, let’s remember to use those gifts boldly…God wants us to share those gifts with the world so that they may come to experience Him for themselves…If you’re like me, then it’s time to get out our spiritual shovels and retrieve those gifts from their hiding places.

Memory Verse: Psalm 27:1-2

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Praying Your Way To Peace...

"Those who choose murmuring as their lifestyle will spend their lifetime in the wilderness." ~ Excerpt from Lord, Change My Attitude by James MacDonald

There are so many times in life that I find myself complaining about something. I'm getting a little better with it, but nonetheless, I still complain more than I should. In the bible, as the Israelites traveled from captivity in Egypt to the Promised Land, they complained often despite of all the ways God had already made for them. In response to this, the Lord's anger "was aroused, and the fire of the Lord burned among them, and consumed some in the camp" (Numbers 11:1 NKJV). Often, I wonder why it's so easy to forget about God's goodness and waste so much time complaining--especially when we know how much God despises it...

Today while praying, my endless list of petitions was interrupted with the question, "why don't you shift the focus to what God has already done?" Hence, the inspiration for this blog. I don't mind sharing this with you because I refuse to believe Satan's lie that I am alone in this state of habitual complaining. Hopefully my transparency will help you strengthen your prayer life and help you see life from a more positive angle as I am striving to. So in the midst of my prayer time, I said this instead...

"Lord, everything may not be perfect in my life, but I thank you that I have never missed a meal, never gone to bed without heat or electricity, never received a phone call from any bill collector, never been jobless, never been sick and unable to get treated...I may not come from a huge family, but I have been blessed with a handful of family members and a host of friends who I love and know I can depend on. I may be praying for more, but I actually have everything I need in this very moment and I am grateful..."

After doing that, I can honestly say that I felt a whole lot better about my situation, because my praise reminds me of who God is to me. You may add your own list of blessings to this prayer, but the result should be similar. Because the Lord inhabits (dwells in/is drawn to) the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3), that is my best way to get His attention. When I choose to dwell on what's not right, then that only makes me feel worse and my faith diminishes. On the contrary, prayer quiets my thoughts and feelings and gets me in a posture to hear and receive His guidance.

I want to encourage you that whenever you become tempted to wallow in dissatisfaction, force yourself to pray your way into peace.

Monday, July 29, 2013

When It’s Time for a Divorce


My pastor recently preached a sermon that resonated so deeply with me that it literally sent chills through my body amid the sweltering 90+degree weather. He was giving us the basics on how to separate ourselves from the world’s influences in order to develop a stronger relationship with Christ and the more he spoke, the more I kept hearing something tugging at me saying, “it’s time to divorce!”

My mind immediately shifted to a story I heard on a radio station in which a man wrote in to the show seeking advice from the hosts about an issue he was having with his wife. Long story short, the man had an affair with his boss, which resulted in a pregnancy. When the boss lost her job, she asked to live with the man—and his wife—in their home. Surprisingly enough, the man was upset because his wife didn’t want his mistress living with them, but he wasn’t sure what to do because he wanted to keep them both living in the same home—he was expecting a baby after all…Of course, this letter made for great discourse on the radio program, which routinely capitalizes off of the ratchedness of some of its listeners. For almost 30 minutes, calls flooded in from all over the country with people commenting about how crazy the man was for cheating on his wife and then having the audacity to move his mistress in with them. Even I got caught up in it, thinking about how this man must have bumped his head. “It couldn’t have been me,” I thought.

It wasn’t until that sermon was preached that I realized it could be me. In fact in many cases, it still is. Not as the victim, but as the actual perpetrator of such betrayal. You see, I learned that once we accept Christ, we enter into a union with Him, meaning the foundation for an intimate relationship with Him is firmly established. But instead of letting that life we once lived and all the things we used to do go, we instead try to drag all of that contradictory stuff into our sacred relationship with Christ. We then become frustrated when it seems like nothing is going right for us or our relationship with God isn’t as fulfilling as we expect it to be. Instead of looking inward and seeing that the problem lies within us and the choices we made, we tend to slip deeper into the sin that has caused the separation from God in the first place.

As I am writing this, I am reminding myself that if I want a genuine, powerful, mind-blowing relationship with Christ, there are some things I am going to have to divorce in my life. There are some things that I have tried to drag into our relationship that isn’t going to fly with God. God is holy and it doesn’t matter how much I say I love Him—it doesn’t matter how many times I go to church or pray – if I insist on dragging things into our union that contradict His holiness, I will never experience the things He has promised me in His word. If this blog resonated with you in any way, it is my prayer that you too will be real with yourself about the choices you are making. Ask yourself if these things are strengthening or hindering your relationship with God according to His word (not your own desires).  If not, it’s time for a divorce.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Life and Death


When I was younger, my dad loved to take us to museums. One of my favorite museums to visit was the Liberty Science Center in New Jersey, because they had so many cool interactive exhibits to explore. My first visit to this museum was particularly unforgettable for me because that was the day I thought I was going to die. Mind you, I had to be no more the eight years old, but that day, I just knew it was the end. When we arrived at the museum, the first exhibit was something like a cave. It looked really cool on the outside and there was this long line of kids waiting to go inside. Of course, this piqued the curiosity of the thrill-seeker in me and I immediately ran over to get in line to see what all the fuss was about. When my turn finally came to go in, the attendant told me to remove my shoes and gave me very specific instructions:

“Once you go inside the cave, the only way out is on the other side,” he said. “Remember to take your time, remain calm and listen for the sounds that will lead you out.”

As a child anxious to explore the cave with the rest of the kids, I barely heard what the man said before I was scurrying into the opening of the cave. The entrance was so low that I had to stoop down to enter it. Once I got inside and began to crawl, the tunnel got so tight that I eventually went from crawling on my knees to lying flat on my back in order to make my way through. As I moved further away from the entrance, the space got so dark that I couldn’t see anything around me, and so tight that I could feel my tiny chest pressing up against the ceiling each time I inhaled. Because it was so closed in, the air was very thick, making it difficult to breathe. The journey through the cave felt like it was never going to end and with every inch, I felt myself losing it. Like I said, I thought I was going to die. I began to cry out in panic. Tears began to stream down my face as thoughts of death began to somersault through my mind. Then, out of nowhere, I remembered the instructions of the attendant.  

“Remember to take your time, remain calm and listen for the sounds that will lead you out.”

Up to that point, the only sounds I could hear were thoughts of panic, despair and hopelessness coursing through my brain, but suddenly, I found a way to be still and listen to the sounds the man promised I would hear. That’s when I heard a soft, familiar voice speaking through the speakers installed in the cave. It was the attendant calmly guiding everyone through each part of cave until they reached the end. As I turned my attention away from the dark, hot, stuffy cave I was in and tuned in to the voice in the speakers, I eventually began to see a glint of light at the end of the cave. Minutes later, I was crawling out of the cave and dashing into my dad’s arms. Through deep sobs, I told my parents how scary the cave was and how I thought I was going to die. I was so angry with them for letting me go into such a dangerous situation and not even try to help me out of it. To my surprise, they started laughing.

“We saw you the whole time,” my dad said. “There were cameras in the cave that allowed us to make sure you were safe and until you got through to the other side. Even though you were panicking, the situation was totally under control.”

I was immediately embarrassed. The whole museum lobby could see me carrying on like that? It was almost comical to think of myself going crazy like that and everyone else knowing that I was ok. They all could see how close I was to the end, but I couldn’t.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about that experience in the cave and it made me think about my thought pattern and how I process things. There are so many times in my life when I feel like I am alone in a dark, stuffy, endless situation that is so tight I feel like I am literally crawling my way out of it. Sometimes there seems to be no end. I even allow my mind to get so cluttered with these negative thoughts that I can’t move. Negative thoughts have their way of paralyzing us in tough situations. We forget everything we know. We panic and lose faith that we will ever get out.

Many times, we even convince ourselves that we cannot control what we think. Negative thoughts seem to be like unannounced guests that don’t know when they have worn out their welcome. Some of us have grown so accustomed to thinking such degrading thoughts about our lives that it becomes a part of our personalities. But I am learning each day that what we think will determine where we go in life. If we choose to think we can’t make it, we wont. If we choose to think we can’t do it, we don’t. But if we use that same power of thought for something positive, our possibilities are endless. I encourage you to examine your thoughts constantly. See what you choose to think about throughout the day and test it to see if it brings life to your situation or does it suffocate and paralyze you.

God tells us in His word to keep our thoughts tuned into Him and He will keep us in perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3). Perfect peace does not mean that trials will not come. It doesn’t mean that temptation and negativity will automatically evaporate. And it certainly doesn’t mean people won’t get on your nerves from time to time. Simply put, keeping our minds on things that are positive will give us a healthy way of dealing with whatever life brings our way. Eventually we will find a way to endure and the exit to the dark caves in our lives will get closer every step of the way.The best part about it is that even when we feel like we are all alone, God is watching us every step of the way and ensuring our safe travel to the end.

In addition to ensuring that I never pursued a career in coal mining, that experience in the cave showed me how important it is to pay attention to what I choose to focus my attention on because it is unquestionably the difference between life and death.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Balancing Act

Last September, I suffered a football injury to my leg that had me in a cast for 2 months. Since then, I have been in an intense physical therapy program, trying to get back to my normal sports-playing self. One of the exercises I do in the pool works to improve my balance and requires me to keep my balance by placing one foot in front of the other as I walk across the pool to the opposite side and back again. Much like a sobriety test, my objective is to use my balance in order to keep my feet on the solid black line on pool floor.
I have never been good at balancing, so I already knew this would be a challenge, but the challenge on land is nothing in comparison to being in the pool. In the water, you are combating waves being made my others in the pool, and your increased buoyancy from the chlorine in the water adds another challenge to staying balanced. So as I began my first steps on the line, I focused my attention to the black line at the bottom of the pool, but it was hard because the moving water kept giving off the illusion that the line was moving. The harder I tried to concentrate on that line, the harder it became to keep my balance. Finally, after my third lap, I became extremely dizzy to the point that it was impossible to continue staring down at the line. Instead, I began to direct my focus toward my destination on the other side of the pool.  Suddenly I heard my therapist say, “You’re starting to get the hang of it.” Sure enough, I managed to walk halfway across the pool in a straight line without losing my balance.
It was at that moment that it dawned on me how little I accomplish when I try so hard to control something that is beyond my control. The harder I try, the dizzier and more off-balance I become. The moment I elevate my focus to my destination and ignore the opposition surrounding me, the task becomes so much easier to manage. In the water, focusing on my goal seemed to produce a sense of calm in my mind. I began to relax because I could no longer see or feel the waves threatening to push me off-track. Finally, all I could see was the progress I was making.
That experience taught me how to approach every challenge in my life. I may not be where I want to be financially, spiritually or otherwise, but I know that if I keep my focus on positive things and keep looking ahead, I will remain encouraged. Keeping my head lifted in the face of adversity reminds me of where my help comes from. It removes my pride and self-reliance when I look up and understand that no matter how hard I try or how good I think I am, my ability to move forward is by no strength of my own but by a God who loves me unconditionally and possesses complete power.  When I remove my pride from difficult situations, I feel less pressure and less self-conscious. I learn better. I take criticism better. I expect fewer congratulations when I do well and I don’t beat myself up when I fail. When everything is placed in the proper perspective, the balancing act becomes easier each step of the way.