Hope in the Wilderness

If I can be completely and painfully honest, I am going through a really rough phase in my life. Some days, I am truly dissatisfied with where I am in my life. There are certain goals that I have set for myself that still seem out of reach and completely out of my control.That frustrates the heck out of me. There are moments when I hit the lowest of lows and all I feel is hopelessness and loneliness even though I am often quite busy and surrounded by people most of the time. Ironically, even in the midst of feeling this way, I am also reading a book called "Lord, Change My Attitude," which chronicles the story of the Jews as they traveled from Egypt to the Promised Land. A trip that took waaayyy longer than it should have simply because of one thing: lack of faith.

The Jews literally grumbled the entire way to the Promised Land--a land that God Himself assured them was full of opportunity and fulfillment. Many doubted, some rebelled, and as a result, some even died. In the end, only two out of thousands of people that embarked on the journey actually made it into the Promised Land. All because the people, including their fearless leader, Moses, failed to depend on God when things got tough. Let's not forget that this was the same God who thought enough of them to perform miracles which led to their freedom from bondage. This was the same God who made specific promises to them and came through on each and every one.

Life before the journey had been pure hell for the Jews. They had been beaten, abused, underfed, and overworked for many generations. But God's unfailing love, compassion and infinite power broke the shackles which bound His people, and for the moment, they were sincerely grateful...but somewhere along the journey, things got rough again. The more they traveled through the desert land, the more uncertainty began to settle in...it became harder and harder for them to see and trust God's plan. Praise eventually turned into murmuring and the Lord's anger was provoked. After all God had done, the people still had the audacity to doubt the Lord God Almighty. Suddenly, they couldn't take Him at His word, but instead sent scouts to check out this so-called Promised Land...Who did they think they were to test the validity of God's promise? Had God not delivered them out of bondage, provided for them, and protected them every step of the way? Was He suddenly a liar? Lack of faith stunted their spiritual growth and blocked their opportunity to experience the abundance God had promised them...They didn't realize that God had to take them through the wilderness in order to make them ready to receive the abundance of the Promised Land.

That happened thousands of years ago, but sadly, it still happens with us today. That story literally sums up what I am currently dealing with. Things are happening that are really challenging my faith. After all the Lord has done (and continues to do) to prove Himself worthy of my trust, I have the audacity to question what He is trying to do in my life. Now I find myself asking, "Who do I think I am?" I know that I am nothing without the Lord, and the more I reflect, the more I realize that it is time to really get my act together. Regardless of what is going on, God has been too good. He's been too faithful and has seen me through even worse times than this for me to suddenly doubt Him. I don't have to understand His ways. It is through my faith that I will begin to see God's work in my life. As hard as this process may be, one day I know that I will realize how this was used to make me ready to receive the Lord's blessings. But even as I travel down this path, I can still thank God for the provisions He makes for me even in my wilderness state. He has not forgotten about me and He still blesses me every step of the way. It's my prayer that soon I will be able to tell this story and encourage someone based on the truth I will come to know. As I sit here today, the Holy Spirit is encouraging me that this too will work together for my good. I have to trust His process. He knows this is the best way to get my attention back towards Him. It's in the wilderness that I will learn to keep Him at the center of everything and not shut Him out of the areas I want full control of. And when the time is right, I know that the Lord will fulfill every promise He has made to me. 

Scriptures of Encouragement:

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.  Hebrews 10:36

Oh How great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways! Romans 11:33, New Living Translation (NLT)

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord and be of good courage. And He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27:13-14, NLT